The Four Horsemen of the Republican Apocalypse

Am I the only one who has noticed an uncanny resemblance between the Republican frontrunners and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse?

Horseman 1, riding the white horse of Pestilence, is Mitt Romney, the man who was in favor of healthcare before he was against it.

Horseman 2, riding the fiery red horse of War, is Rudy Giuliani, who promises to go out of his way to offend all Muslims everywhere all day every day, except when he’s going after illegals.

Horseman 3, riding the black horse of Famine, is Mike Huckabee, whose proposal to tax food at 30% makes his identification with this particular Horseman a no brainer.

Horseman 4, riding the pale green horse of Death, is John McCain who suggests that the United States could stay in Iraq for a hundred years.

But when they all come charging into Florida simultaneously will they destroy one another?

It is quite possible that the Republicans will emerge from Florida and mega Tuesday with no clear front runner and will instead continue to retain three or even four possible options. This could produce a devastating scenario in which the GOP could start to disintegrate from infighting and ideological confusion (diversity isn’t really their forte after all).

Woe unto the Republicans on the great and terrible day when they must put their money on one of these ill-omened steeds.

More: I hope you didn’t miss this excellent column on the Republicans from Gail Collins.